


Your Guardian Angel (BxB)

by DeadEndFriends



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Bisexual Male Character, Boyfriends, Boys In Love, Bullying, Emo, Eventual Romance, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Male Character, Happy Ending, High School, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Blood, POV First Person, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Shyness, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Teen Romance, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28396245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadEndFriends/pseuds/DeadEndFriends
Summary: Sophomore Nico Rogers hasn’t had it easy: His mom died, he’s a regular target for bullying, he struggles with mental illness, and a dark secret from the past has haunted him for years. When a new guy at school manages to befriend the shy and introverted Nico, something sparks inside of him, something that he’s never felt before. Will Nico be able to overcome his fears and finally find what he’s been searching for all these years, or will they hold him back from something that could be real?
Relationships: Mika Young/Ashley Travis, Nico Rogers/Danny Collins, Nico Rogers/Tommy O'Reilly
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	1. New Guy At School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is my first story on AO3, so feedback is really appreciated. This story is boyxboy, so if you have an issue with that, don’t bothering reading. This story contains swearing and mentions of alcohol/drugs, bullying, homophobia and sexual themes, as well as some other content that may be upsetting to some people. Trigger warnings will be applied before any chapter where it is necessary. With that said, there is some mild violence and use of homophobic slurs in this chapter, so be warned. Here's what Nico looks like: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1dS2ao-GABk1J_JNUQTtdDEEpsG308oqe/view?usp=sharing . Enjoy.

I stare down intently at my sketchbook, slowly dragging the tip of my pencil across the thick, white paper, making a bold line. I’ve been working on this sketch since yesterday, hoping that I could create something that looked really creepy, yet kind of pretty at the same time. It’s a drawing of a zombie-like girl wearing a blood-stained dress, her face, arms and legs all covered in bloody stitches. Although the drawing still needed plenty of detail, maybe some color as well, and was definitely nowhere near being finished, it looked pretty good so far. Satisfied with the progress I made, I set my sketchbook down.

It was a free period and the last period of the day. During this time, we’re allowed to go where we want within the school and just hang out. Any students that weren’t involved in sports or clubs, including myself, were usually gathered in the courtyard in groups, just talking, gossiping and laughing about who knows what. Occasionally, someone would walk past the bench I was sitting at and say hi, or compliment my drawing. I never fell in with any of the cliques or developed a group of close friends. Hell, I don’t have many friends at this school. But most people are nice to me, and I usually prefer to be myself anyway. Although I do sometimes regret not joining any clubs, because some of them honestly sound kind of fun. But hey, I still have two years left before I graduate, maybe I’ll find something before then.

I glance up in the direction of the school store near the cafeteria, debating if I want to get a bottle of water or lemonade. I never bothered buying the school food, aside from the occasional bag of chips or candy bar from the vending machine. Plus, I wasn’t really that thirsty, but since it’s early September, it was pretty warm outside today, and I figured it’d be best if I didn’t die of dehydration. I pause the ‘Monsters by Matchbook Romance’ that had been blasting in my earbuds and gently yank them out of my ears. As I’m pulling out my dollar, something stands in front of me, blocking my path. I cautiously look up at the figure, only to be met with a pair of dark brown eyes staring down at me. Of course. I was having a surprisingly good day today, and this son of a bitch has to show up and ruin that.

“What’s up, loser?” The one-and-only Ethan Anderson greets me as he roughly kicks my sketchbook out of my hand and sends it flying onto the ground. The captain of the football team, the biggest bully in town, and the school’s resident fuckboy. A lot of people were scared of him, including a few of his teammates, or so the rumors say. I guess I can’t blame them, though. He towered over a good majority of the students at 6’4, is buff as hell, and has gotten into a ton of fights, enough to make me wonder how he hasn’t been kicked off the team yet. Not to mention there’s been a lot of disturbing rumors about him that have been going around since middle school. He gets a real kick out of bullying the underclassmen and anyone else he suddenly decides is his target for the day, and I unfortunately am his victim most of the time. I’ve grown used to it by now though, and can stand up for myself. Most of the time, anyway.

I let out a sigh, trying to think of a way I could get away from him without getting my arm broken again. “Ethan.” I greet back, a fake smile plastered across my face. I look around, noticing he was alone. Hmm, that was a bit odd. Usually, he brought some of his buddies along so they can cheer him on as he beats the shit out of his helpless kid. “Wow, you didn’t bring your little audience this time. Damn, they’re truly missing out on the fight of a lifetime.” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm as I glared up at him. Ethan only chuckles, running a hand through his greasy, dirty blonde hair. “Unfortunately, they got busy. But you know me. I’d never mess a chance to fuck you up.” He retorts, lifting one foot and kicking me in my chest, knocking me off the bench onto my back. By then, the other kids in the courtyard had started to look our way, whispering amongst themselves. I even saw a few immediately flee the scene out of the corner of my eye. 

“Right.” I say, rolling my eyes. “Listen, I don’t have the energy to do this right now.” I say, standing up and trying to brush the dirt off my clothes. Asshole left a huge mark on my Bullet For My Valentine shirt. Damn. I just got this one too.

Ethan laughs, a cackle that made me tense up. “No, no, no…” He says, a look of pure rage appearing in his eyes. “You don’t get to decide when you leave. I do.” Well shit, I’m about to get something broken again, aren’t I?

Before I can make my escape, the angry blonde bastard grabs me by my hair and roughly throws me to the ground. I quickly try to scramble onto my feet, only for him to pin me face down on the concrete and harshly twist my arm behind my back, his nails harshly digging themselves into my pale skin. “Listen up, faggot.” Ethan growls into my ear, his tobacco-stenched breath hot against my face. “You better stay out of my fucking way. I will put you in your fucking place, cunt.” He twists my arm further, eliciting a shout of pain from me. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying my hardest to slow my breathing. My arm felt like the verge of snapping in half. One wrong movement, and some serious damage would be done...

Why does it always have to be me? What did I even do to him, anyway? I’ve been asking myself this ever since he started targeting me in eighth grade, but I could never find any answers. In my mind, I begged for someone to come and help me. The other students stood around us, watching the scene with fear in their eyes. Here I am, hunted by a predator. I am Ethan’s prey. Weak and helpless.

“Hey!” Someone shouts, grabbing everyone’s attention. “Leave him alone!”

Ethan growls, releasing my arm from his iron grasp and standing up. Pain explodes across my arm, spreading like wildfire. Rubbing my eyes to stop the tear from slipping out, I climb to my knees, curious to see who stood up for me.

My heart stops dead in my chest immediately when my eyes lay themselves on him. An unfamiliar boy stood before Ethan. He has smooth, pale skin, shaggy dark brown hair with sideswept bangs, and icy blue eyes. He’s wearing a Falling In Reverse t-shirt, ripped dark blue jeans, and black hightops. He’s...really hot, holy fuck.

“Who the fuck are you to have the nerve to interrupt me?!” Ethan shouts, his voice dripping with venom. I hear the other voice chuckle. “Who I am isn’t your business, asshole. But you better listen to me really fucking good when I say, you better back off and leave him alone.” The guy retorts. Wow, I’ve never seen someone stand up to Ethan like that. I gotta say, I’m impressed. 

“Really? And tell me, what will you do if I don’t?” Ethan says lowly, swinging a fist at the guy. The crowd lets out various gasps and shouts of shock as the guy blocks his hit and socks him. Ethan stumbles back a bit, clutching his now-bleeding nose. “Get lost. Now.” The guy says with a threatening tone and a venomous look in his eyes. Ethan glares at the guy for a bit, then glances at the crowd, watching the scene in awe, and scoffs. “Whatever.” He mutters. I get a strange sense of satisfaction watching Ethan stomp out of the courtyard, his ego in tatters at the moment.

“Alright, go new kid!” One of the guys in the crowd cheers, a small wave of applause going around before the crowd starts breaking up back into their little groups and starts talking again. The guy looks at me and gives me a warm smile.

“Hey, you alright?” He asks, offering a hand to help me up. I take his hand and climb back onto my feet, wincing slightly at the pain in my arm. I glance down at the injury: The skin is red, and there were small cuts where Ethan’s nails had been digging in, but it wasn’t as bad as I though. “Yeah… I’m fine, I guess. Thanks for standing up for me.” I return the smile. “That was kind of...awesome.”

“No problem. I know how the jocks are. They act tough to hide their fragile ego. Doing that kind of stuff can have them running off in no time.” The guy laughs softly, causing me to blush,

“My name’s Tommy, by the way.” He says. I really hoped he couldn’t see how red my face was at the moment. I’d hate to say something wrong and mess up the chance of making a new friend. “I’m N-Nico.” I stutter. Fuck, why did I have to stutter? I probably look like a complete moron now.

I quickly pull out my phone. 2:17. Three more minutes before dismissal. Darn, I wish I could stay longer and talk to Tommy a bit more. Great. “You listen to them?” Tommy asks, breaking me out of my thoughts. He was observing my lock screen, which had a mix of the Linkin Park, Breaking Benjamin and Paramore logos as the wallpaper. “Hell yeah, they’re my favorite bands.” I say, a small smile spreading across my lips. Tommy then looks at my shirt, his smile growing wider.

“Cool shirt. It’s nice to finally meet someone who has a similar taste in music. What other stuff do you listen to?”

As I start listing off some other bands I like, the bell rings, informing us that it’s time to leave. “Ah shit… Well, I guess we could continue this discussion next week?” Tommy suggests. I completely forgot that it was Friday. Crap. “I guess so.” I say, picking my sketchbook up from the ground. “Unless…” Tommy says, his blue eyes locking with my green ones. “Can I get your number?”

The blush returns to my face. He wants...my number? ‘Stop it Nico. This guy just wants to get to know you. Don’t have any gay thoughts.’ I think to myself. “Uh...sure.” I tear out a small piece of paper from my notebook and jot down my number and hand it to him. “Thanks. See you around.” Tommy says, waving to me before exiting the courtyard. I make my way through the hallways to my locker, my heart pounding with excitement and probably grinning like an idiot. This hot new kid saves me from getting my arm snapped like a twig, then we start talking and he asks for my number? What are the odds?! I have a feel this school year is going to be interesting...


	2. Saturday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tommy: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1yNR8Y1s9J-TmHBxNagm_C04CRlEvhpuW/view?usp=drivesdk

I lay on my bed half-asleep, some Markiplier video playing on my laptop. I wasn’t really watching it, but it was too quiet in my room, and I needed something to break the silence. Rolling over on my side, I check the time on my phone. 3:56 P.M. Ugh. It was Saturday, and here I am, bored out of my goddamn mind. I sit up, trying to think of something to do. My dad had to go out, so I had the house all to myself for a few hours. I already finished what very little homework I had, so that wasn’t an option. I glance over at the small stand in the corner that held my TV, several stacks of PS2 and PS3 games, and the consoles themselves. Hmm, I did have plenty of games I never got around to finishing. If not that, then maybe I could just replay Tomb Raider for the tenth time. I shut off my laptop and stand up, stretching slightly, when my phone screen lights up, informing me that someone has texted.

It’s Tommy. We started talking immediately after school Friday. Nothing really serious, just making small talk about music, movies and stuff like that. I found out that we have second, fifth, and ninth period together, so that made me pretty happy. I wonder what’s up? I open the message and read it:

“Hey. You doing anything rn?”

“Nothing important. What’s up?”

My heart starts racing as he almost immediately replies: “I was wondering if maybe you wanna hang out?”

I thought about it for a second. Tommy really does seem like a sweet guy, and I do want to get to know him better in person. At the same time, I feel like I might say something stupid and fuck up my chance of making a new friend at school. Shit, it’s not like I have anything else to do, right?

“There’s a park not far from the school. You wanna meet there?” I text, my hands trembling slightly from excitement. Or is that just my anxiety kicking in? Maybe a combination of both? I can’t tell.

“Sounds good. See you there :)” He replies.

I quickly change out of my pajamas into an Alice in Chains shirt and faded blue jeans, and slip on a pair of black and white checkered Vans. I grab my phone, key and earbuds, shoving them into my pocket as I rush downstairs, almost tripping and falling face-first onto the hardwood floor. Real smooth. Thank god no one was here to see that. I exit the house, locking the door behind me. It was a nice, warm day out today. I pull out my earbuds, tuning out the world as I walk to the park. Foo Fighters starts playing, my nerves instantly relaxing. Ah… this is nice...

~

Despite it being a Saturday afternoon, it was almost completely empty at the park today, aside from a few families near the playground. I scan the area, looking for Tommy and failing to spot him. ‘Well, I guess I didn’t say a specific time to meet.’ I think, sitting down at one of the benches along the path. If only I brought my sketchbook, then I could kill some time here. Guess that’s my own fault. I fixate my gaze on the clear, blue sky, zoning out as ‘For The First Time by The Script’ starts playing. This song always brought back memories. Memories of when I was a kid and had no worries about the world. There were also the memories of...him. This was Danny’s song. Our song...

*FLASHBACK*

“Yeah, they’re making us crazy, don’t give up on me baby..” Danny sings out, strumming the last few notes of the song on his guitar. He looks up at me, sitting criss-cross on the bed in front of him with a dumb smile on my face. “So… How was it?”

“It was perfect.” I said, softly clapping for him. He lets out a sigh of relief, setting the guitar down next to the bed. “You sure? I...uh... I dunno, I still think it kind of sounds like crap. I’ve been practicing for a while, but I just--” He starts going on another nervous rant, before I roughly press my lips against his, cutting him off. He wraps his arms around my waist as I move so that I was sitting in his lap, tangling my fingers into his black and red-dyed hair. I hated how judgemental he got about himself. He’s the most talented and creative person I know. I wish he could see that.

We pull away after a while, both of us breathing heavily. “I really wish you would stop being so hard on yourself.” I say after I catch my breath. “I know, I know, I have a great voice, I’m the most talented guy you know, I’m going to absolutely destroy everyone else in the talent show. I’ve heard it probably a million times, don’t get started again, Nico.” Danny says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “It’s true, though. Stop stressing about it so much. You’re gonna do great.”

“Honestly, I don’t think I really want to do the show anymore.” He says sadly. “I know you really want to see me perform, but...I guess I’m just having second thoughts.” He looks up at me with those gorgeous gray-blue eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologize. If you don’t wanna do it, then I won’t get mad at you.” I say, giving him a soft smile. He returns the smile and buries his head into the crook of my neck. “God, you’re too good to me. I know I say that all the time, but you really are the best thing to ever happen to me.” He tightens his grip around my waist. A smile creeps onto my face as he says this. Fuck, he was so cute!

“Danny?” I remove one of my hands from stroking his hair and gently grab his chin to make him look up at me. We lock lips once more, this time more slow and gentle. My heart was pounding in my chest. This was perfect. I could just melt into this kiss, nothing else to worry about. Just me and Danny…

We pull away after a little bit, our lips swollen. Danny starts laughing softly, looking up at me with puppy dog eyes. “I love you so much” He says once he calms down. My face was probably so red at this point.

“I love you more.”

*End of Flashback*

“Hey.” Someone says behind me as a pair of hands grabs my shoulders, quickly bringing me from my thoughts and back into reality. I jump and quickly tense up, expecting it to be Ethan or one of his buddies. I look up behind me, half expecting a fist to my jaw, but I relax when I realize it’s Tommy.

“Uh… Hey.” I say back, still half zoned out. I probably look really stupid staring up at him like I just witnessed a murder. He releases his hands from my shoulders and sits down on the grass in front of me.

“I’m pretty sure you just made me have six heart attacks at once.” I say, narrowing my eyes at him. He chuckles and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I probably should’ve given some warning that I was there. That’s my fault. I’m sorry.” Our eyes lock for a moment, before I turn away, my face probably red already.

“So, um, what’s up?” I ask, trying really hard to think of something to talk about. I was never much of a talker, and I didn’t know how to carry a conversation. “Not much. Still unpacking stuff, getting used to the town.” He mumbles out, picking at the blades of grass. “It’s pretty rough, moving from Florida all the way to New York.” He’s from Florida? Huh, I didn’t see that coming...

“From Florida? Sounds pretty nice.” I say. He only scoffs and shakes his head. “Not the town I’m from. That shit was redneck central, it was agony. People were assholes.” He glances up at me. “You ever been to Florida?”

I think about it for a moment. I could swear I went there with my family to go to Disney World many years ago. Or we just went to hang out on the beach. Maybe we didn’t go after all? God, my memory is terrible. “Maybe once when I was a kid.” I finally reply.

Tommy hums in response. An admittedly comfortable silence falls between us, only broken by the sounds of kids running around on the playground.

“So,” He finally says after a while. “I gotta ask, what’s up with that guy from yesterday?” Ah, Ethan. What can I tell Tommy about him that’s not illegal? People talk shit about Ethan behind his back as they please, but no one ever dares to speak about the rumors.

“Ethan Anderson? Nothing really special about him. Captain of the football team, king of all douchebags, likes torturing the underclassmen and anyone else he decides is his punching bag for the day. There’s also a bunch of really nasty rumors about him, but I don’t wanna talk about that.” I say nonchalantly. Tommy slowly nods, taking in my words. “Okay. And what’s the issue between you two?”

I let out a nervous laugh and scratch the back of my neck. “That, my friend, is a bit harder to explain.” I begin. Tommy looks very interested in what I’m saying. It was kind of adorable, honestly.

“To make a really long story short, he outed me to the entire school when we were in eighth grade, and he’s just been on my ass ever since.” I still remember it like it happened yesterday. More people were accepting than I thought they would be, but still, that was probably the worst day of my life. I awkwardly break my gaze from Tommy and stare down at my Vans. Why do I feel like I’m oversharing? I didn’t really talk about that incident, and here I am, sharing it with some guy I only met yesterday. God, he probably thinks he’s crazy…

“Damn.” Was all Tommy said. I cautiously glance up at him. He’s got a strange look on his face, one mixed with anger, disgust, and what looked like sympathy. He buries his face in his hands, letting out a loud sigh. “I’ve seen some messed up stuff, but outing someone? Shit, that’s low. And I should know!” He should know? Wait, does that mean?...

“You’re...gay?” I ask, probably sounding way too excited. “Bi, actually. But I mean, doesn’t that seem kind of obvious?” He laughs, a slight blush appearing on his face. Meanwhile, my heart almost stops at those words. Holy fucking shit, the cute guy is bisexual! What are the chances?!

“R-Really? Well, that’s cool…” I trail off. Oh my god, this day just got so much better! Could this mean… I might have a chance? “No, Nico. Just because you’re gay and Tommy’s bi, doesn’t mean you have a couple. You’ve known the guy for one goddamn day. Besides, you still haven’t gotten over Danny.” A strange voice in my head says.

“Can I say something stupid?” Tommy’s voice breaks me from my thoughts. “I know I’ve only known you for one day, but… I don’t know, I think you’re really cool.” My face turns redder than a tomato. Me? Cool? In what world? I start nervously laughing, genuinely unsure of how to respond.

“Sorry, you think me, the sad, gay, emo, art nerd who doesn’t have a single fucking clue how to have a conversation, is cool.” I look down at Tommy, almost in tears from laughing. He stares up at me with the most sincere look that I’ve ever seen on anyone. “You’re crazy, Tommy.”

“Yes. What are you going to do about it?” Tommy says playfully, before standing up and sitting next to me on the bench. “Nico, the way you just described yourself, those are the kind of people I need in my life. I never had any friends like that, or any friends in general. And, fuck, I don’t know where I’m going with this.”

“I’m not trying to sound cheesy, I’m really not, but you just seem like a really interesting guy, and I want to know you better. If that’s fine with you, I mean.” He looks away from me as he says this. Huh. Yesterday, this guy stood up to the most feared guy in school with no hesitation, and now he’s stuttering and blushing. An idiotic grin spreads across my face.

“Yeah. I’d like that.”


	3. A Beautiful Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains fairly graphic descriptions of self-harm and suicide. Proceed with caution.
> 
> Mika: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XFRbTT7RHcxE17IHdjxXlfXjrn2qDVPV/view?usp=drivesdk

The obnoxious beeping of my alarm brings me from my sleep. Groaning, I turn it off and pull myself into a sitting position. God, I feel gross. I woke up with a headache, and I feel like I haven’t slept in weeks. Guess it wasn’t smart to stay up late and watch Death Note. Oops.

“Shit, when did I fall asleep? I couldn’t have been up that late. Did I accidentally almost pull an all-nighter?” I say to myself, grabbing my glasses from the nightstand and standing up, stretching. Outside, the sky was almost pitch black, and I could hear rain falling against the window. Oh great. I feel like death, it’s raining, and it’s a Monday. How much worse can today get?

I quickly change into jeans and a black hoodie, and head downstairs. The lights were already on, and I could hear the murmurs of some news station playing on the TV. Running one hand through my hair in an attempt to make it look somewhat presentable, I trudge into the kitchen.

“Morning, kiddo.” My dad, who was sitting at the table, drinking coffee and reading something on his laptop, greets me. I mumble something back in reply and start searching the cabinet for the bagels. I don’t know why, but I was starving right now! Maybe eating something would get me to wake up a bit. Or help my headache. It probably would be smart to just take an Advil or something, but painkillers never worked for me for some reason.

“You get enough sleep there?” Dad asks, an amused tone in his voice. I don’t say anything at first, as I’m busy trying to find the cream cheese in the fridge. “Oh, of course! You know me, I’m always wide awake.” I mentally facepalm at how stupid I sound. But then again, I do tend to say stupid shit when I’m really tired.

Dad starts laughing, and I hear the scraping of the chair behind me, signaling that he is standing up. “Are you sure?” He opens the fridge and pulls out a small container. “You know that’s not cream cheese you’re about to put on your bagel?” I look closer at the container I was holding, and sure enough, it was cottage cheese. 

I take the cream cheese container from Dad, who was still laughing. “Thanks.” I say softly. I have a feeling he’s not going to let me live this one down for a while. Sometimes, I wonder how I would make it through life without Dad.

“Alright, well, I’m going to work. I’ll probably be home late tonight.” The sound of the car keys rattling brings me back to reality as I start zoning out again. “You’re always home late, Dad.” I say through a mouthful of breakfast, censoring it with my hand. Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit. He’s not always home late. Most of the time, anyway.

He chuckles once again and waves goodbye, exiting through the front door. Outside, I see the headlights turn on and pull out of the driveway, heading down the road. Alone once again. I glance at the stove clock. 6:55. Okay, I still have time. Finishing my bagel, I throw my backpack over my shoulder and head out the door. The sky had brightened up, and the rain slowed down a bit. I pull my hood over my head, and start walking.

~

By the time I reach the school gates, I’m feeling a lot better. My headache had gone away completely, though I was still tired. Maybe I can take a nap when I get to class. I have World History for first period, and as of right now, we’re not working on anything important in class that requires me to be awake.

“Nico!” Someone calls my name behind me. I glance over my shoulder to see a girl running towards me, waving one hand over her hand. She stops in front of me, slipping slightly from the wet sidewalk, and smiles.

“Hey, Mika. What’s up?” I say, returning the smile. I’ve known her since we were in elementary school. She truly is the nicest girl I’ve ever met, but how she was always in a good mood, even right now, standing soaked in the rain, is beyond me. We walk through the halls towards our lockers in silence. Mika keeps glancing at me, a mischievous smirk on her face. Oh god, what sort of devilish things could be going through her mind? Especially this early in the morning!

“So, did you hear? The new kid, Tommy, got in a fight with Ethan on Friday.” If there’s one thing Mika loves more than anything, it’s drama. Most of the time, the stories are lame. Messy break-ups, people getting kicked out of clubs, just small stuff that I honestly don’t care about.

“As a matter of fact, yes. Not only did I hear about it, I witnessed it firsthand.” I open my locker and shove my bag into it. Mika’s eyes light up when I say it. “No way! How bad was it? Who won? Bitch, I need all the details!” 

I laugh slightly at her excitement. Her energy never fails to amuse me. “I wouldn’t even consider it a fight. Ethan was being a dick to me for no reason, as he usually does, then Tommy stood up for me. That’s it. It really wasn’t anything special.” I say, pulling out my binder and history textbook. Out of the corner of my eye, Mika’s smile falters, a look of disappointment appearing in her brown eyes. “There was some good to it, though. I got Tommy’s number.”

And just like that, her smile returns at full strength. “Holy shit, that’s awesome! Good for you, man!” She quiets down a bit. “Well, I have a few classes with him, and he seems pretty nice. What do you think?” Why does she want to know? Wait…

I turn around to face her. “You just wanna know if I have a crush on him, don’t you?” I let out a sigh and shake my head as she nods her head hesitantly. I love her, I do, but why is she always interested in my love life? I don’t think I’ll ever find an answer.

“Mika, why don’t you go and try to find a girlfriend instead of worrying about your best friend’s love life, yeah?” I say, digging through my locker, trying to find my notebook. That probably came out more harsh than I meant for it to. Mika lets out a loud huff and puts her hands on her hips. “You know I won’t say anything.” She pleads. True, she is good at keeping her word...

“Okay. Do I think he’s a nice guy? Yes. Do I think he’s hot? Very. But if I’m being honest, I doubt I have a chance with him” I slam my locker shut and turn around. Mika brushes a few strands of her hair out of her face and nods. “Never say never.” She says, flashing a cheesy smile at me. I can’t help but to giggle. She really is good company.

“Alright, come on. We gotta get to class.” Mika says, motioning for me to follow her down the hall. As we start walking, I spot Tommy, along with several other students, waiting outside one of the nearby classrooms. We make eye contact, and he gives me a small wave. I return the gesture and quickly turn my head away, my face turning red. Oh god, did he hear us talking? I really hope not…

I enter the classroom and quickly take my seat, which is thankfully assigned near the back. The tired feeling from before returns immediately as I sit down. I yawn, placing my head down on the desk. I close my eyes, my breathing slowing down. I suppose a quick nap wouldn’t do me any harm…

~

Where am I? I’m standing in what looks like my English classroom from eighth grade. Hmm, why is it so empty? There’s no desks, no cheesy posters on the walls, and most importantly, no other students. I’m the only one here. Or so I think. I jump when I hear soft laughter ring out from somewhere behind me. Quickly turning out to find the source, I freeze when I see who it is.

Danny?

He stands there in front of me, white t-shirt, black and red hair and all. His lips are spread into a smile, and he’s laughing about something. I look straight into those grey-colored eyes and step forward, my legs quivering.

“Hey, Nicky!” He calls me by that nickname, something he always used to call me when we were in middle school. His smile, his voice… God, it’s been years, but a part of me still misses him.

I can’t respond. My throat goes dry as I try to think of the words I want to say. It’s like my vocal cords stopped working all of a sudden.

“Nico, I think we both know why I’m here.” He says. I just notice that he’s holding something. What it is, I couldn’t tell.

“No, no...it wasn’t my fault, Danny!” I stammer as he approaches me. I want to turn and run away, to escape this. But no matter how I tried, my legs just wouldn’t move.

“See, and I believe you. You always were such a sweet guy.” His words have a poison to them that sent shivers down my spine. He glares at me, raising the object, which I now realize is a knife. I gasp and back away as he digs the sharp blade into his skin, creating several large gashes across both of his arms. Rivers of thick, ruby-red blood flow out of his now slit arms. What the hell?! I watch in horror as it flows down his arms and hands, dripping off of his fingers and onto the floor, forming large puddles.

“But why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you help?” He starts crying. The pools of blood on the floor start moving in all directions, forming something… Letters? Is it some kind of message?

“I did everything I could!” 

“I know I fucked up, but please know that I’m sorry, Nico! I love you! I never stopped loving you!” He starts sobbing, the bloody message now fully formed. My legs give in and I fall to my knees, almost puking when I read the message:

“You know Tommy’s next.”

~

I bolt upright, my heart beating so hard against my chest that it actually hurt. A few people turn towards me, clearly startled at my sudden awakening. I try to calm myself down, reminding myself that it was just a dream. One of the worst dreams I’ve had in weeks. Holy shit...

“Hey. You okay?” Mika whispers, turning in her seat to face me. I take a deep breath, nodding slightly. I think it was obvious to both of us that I wasn’t okay. I was shaking and sweating like crazy, and I felt the sudden urge to cry. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had a pretty crazy dream, that’s all.”

The bell rings at that moment. Oh shit, I slept all the way through first period? Why didn’t anyone try to wake me? I really hope we didn’t have notes or anything important. I gather up my books and quickly head out of the classroom, still trying to shake the dream from my mind. I’ve had some messed up dreams in my life, but that one… Oh god, I feel nauseous just thinking about it.

I have a feeling the rest of the day is going to be a total drag.


	4. Fallin’ for You

For the rest of the day, my head felt...off. It was like I was trapped and wandering through some kind of weird fog. I couldn’t stay focused in any of my classes. I don’t think I even spoke to anyone all day. My mind kept wandering back to that dream. Well, I suppose ‘nightmare’ would be a better way to describe it. Either way, it was something that I’m really hoping was a one time thing. It’s been two years since the incident, why can’t I just move on and forget? I loved Danny, I really did, and to have him reappear in my dream and… God, I feel sick just picturing it.

“Nico! Hey, Nico!” A voice calls to me, bringing back into reality. Briefly glancing over my shoulder, I see Tommy waving at me. I shake my head and keep walking, quickly heading into the small crowd of students that were exiting the school. I don’t have the energy to talk to him right now. Today really sucked, and I just want to go home and take a nap. Maybe that would help get the dream off my mind.

As I’m exiting the front gates, I hear running footsteps approaching. I quickly turn around and tense up, for some reason expecting it to be Ethan ready to get his revenge for what happened on Friday. Actually, now that I think about it, I haven’t seen Ethan since Friday. He wasn’t in school today as far as I’m aware. Maybe someone reported him and he got suspended or expelled? You can never be sure with him. Thankfully for me though, it’s just Tommy.

“Hey.” He greets me, smiling. God, he’s just like Mika. Always seem to be cheerful and full of energy. How? Is there just something about me that just attracts those kinds of people? I open my mouth to say something, but I can’t find the words. I turn back around and continue walking home, with Tommy following closely behind.

“You doing okay, man? I’ve been wanting to talk to you all day about something, but you just seemed really... out of it, so I didn’t wanna bother you.” I feel a weird pang of guilt as he starts rambling. Had I really been avoiding him all day just because of some creepy nightmare I had in World History?

“Yeah, I just…” I bite my lip, trying to figure out what I want to say. Should I be honest? Tell him about the dream? I don’t want to dump all of my feelings onto him, plus I doubt he would understand. I never like talking about Danny and what happened, it just brings back memories I’d really like to just forget about. “I’m doing fine. Just dealing with some personal stuff. I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Nice one, Nico. You use the ‘personal stuff’ excuse. How creative.” I think to myself sarcastically. That answer seemed to satisfy any curiosity, as Tommy gives me a small nod. We walk together the rest of the way, an oddly comfortable silence falling between us. We soon approach my street, and stop near the curb to take a quick break.

“You didn’t have to walk with me, you know.” I say, smiling up at him. He lets out a soft laugh and awkwardly turns his head towards the ground. “I know. But I like being with you. Plus, my house isn’t too far from here, so I just kinda figured, you know, it’d be quicker if I walked with you.” He likes...being with me? I feel my face heat up at those words. I start panicking internally, trying my hardest to think of some way to reply without making this too awkward. 

“So, uh…” I stutter out. I quickly look down, avoiding Tommy’s gaze as he looks back up at me. “Wha-What was that thing you wanted to talk to me about earlier?” 

He lets out a shaky-sounding breath, as if he was hesitant to say whatever it was that he’s about to say. “Well, I don’t want you to like, get pissed off if I tell you.” He begins, his words quickly capturing both my interest and my fear. I have a feeling that I know what he’s about to say, and I’m definitely not prepared for it. Not in my current anxious state, anyway. “But, uh, I may have heard some talk that… you have a crush on me.”

There it is. Those are the words I expected to hear, and the ones I didn’t want to hear at the same time. He overheard me and Mika’s conversation earlier, or people are starting some stupid rumors. Either way, now he knows that I have a crush on him. My throat goes dry, and my legs feel like they’re about to give in. I could hear the smile in his voice, which only made me feel more nervous.

“Well… I, uh…” I can’t think of anything to say. I feel hot tears building up in my eyes, and I try to fight back the sudden urge to cry. Of course this shit has to happen, and just when I thought this day might actually have a chance at getting better. 

I quickly turn away and start walking, too embarrassed to face Tommy at the moment. I just knew this was going to happen. I have a chance at making a new friend at this school, and then he finds out that I have a crush on him. How did I not see this coming sooner? God, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more humiliated in my life.

“Nico, hold on!” Tommy grabs my arm, bringing me to a halt. I keep my head down.

“L-listen, I don’t wanna t-talk about this. I j-just--” I begin, my voice all shaky and weak. I hadn’t realized I was crying until he pulls me into a tight hug, wrapping his arms around my waist. I tense up at first, but eventually relax and return his embrace. It’s very rare that I get to have any affectionate moments with people. The last time I did was… Honestly, I can’t even remember. It’s definitely been a while, that’s for sure.

After a good few minutes, we pull apart, both of our faces bright red. It’s only been a few seconds, and I’m already craving to feel his touch again. Wow, I haven’t felt like this in years. I wipe away my tears and hesitantly glance up at Tommy.

“W-why did you…” I trail off, trying and failing to form some kind of sentence. Between all of the emotions surging through me at the moment, my brain felt scrambled, and I couldn’t think straight. Tommy just shrugs, his smile returning almost instantly. “I don’t know. Just felt...appropriate, I guess.” 

“Tommy, I--“ I begin, finally managing to find my voice, before he cuts me off.

“I’m not gonna freak out and start shit if you do like me. I know that’s most likely not what you were expecting me to say, but to you tell the truth? I just really don’t give a shit.” Those words put me into a state of shock. He was absolutely correct. Out of all the ways I imagined he was going to respond, that definitely was not one of them.

“I… Are you fucking with me right now? Because I d-don’t… believe anything you j-just said.” Why do I always have to stutter when I get nervous? Fuck, I hate that so much. 

“You don’t actually think it makes me uncomfortable, do you?” Tommy smirks down at me. I could only give a hesitant nod. I was completely speechless. He finds out I have a crush on him, and he’s just...okay with it? Not even a little phased by it? No, that can’t be. There’s got to be something else behind this. How do I know that he won’t backstab me and spread a bunch of nasty rumors throughout the school? “Whoa, calm down there Nico. That’s a little extreme. Nothing’s going to happen, you’re just being paranoid as usual.” I try to reassure myself.

“God, you’re just so innocent, it’s adorable.” Tommy mumbles out, probably thinking I couldn’t hear him. But I did, and now my face was heating up once again, for what? The third time today? I duck my head down, wishing I could just disappear into the concrete. “You’re...really not mad at me?”

“Why would I be? It really isn’t anything you have to be embarrassed about. And if I’m gonna be completely honest?” He gently lifts my chin up, forcing us to make direct eye contact.

“I like you too.”


	5. Beaten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains some violence and use of homophobic slurs. Proceed with caution.
> 
> Ethan: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mPtzPeiqykQmYd6MKWoPWwWAaLJM8aji/view?usp=drivesdk

For the rest of the day, Tommy’s words kept replaying over and over again in my brain. “I like you too.” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? He likes me as a friend? Or does he like-like me? And not only that, but he just acts like it’s not a big deal? I have a headache from trying to process everything that happened today. Maybe I’m just overreacting…

It’s almost 5:30 now, Dad’s still at work, and I’m digging through the cabinets, trying to find something to eat. I’m not really that hungry, I’m just bored. What better way to spend the rest of the afternoon than killing off an entire bag of chips? Actually, ramen sounds pretty nice right now…

My phone starts ringing suddenly. I glance down, seeing that Mika’s calling me. I wonder what’s up this time? I answer the call, putting the device on speaker.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, uh… You didn’t forget about the project, did you?” She inquires. Project? What project?

“Huh?”

“Yeah, we have that project for English that’s due on Friday. You said you were gonna come over to my house and we could work on it.” I remember now. Shit. That completely slipped my mind.

“Oh, that. Sorry. I can come over now, if that’s fine?” I say. Was I really that out of it all day? I think I can vaguely remember the teacher saying something about the project…

“Yeah, sounds good. Everything okay?” She inquires.

“Yeah. Just been a weird day, that’s all.” I really hope she can’t tell I’m lying.

“Okay. See you in a bit.”

Once the phone beeps, signaling that the call has ended, I slide it into my pocket. I write a quick note to Dad in case he gets home before I do, saying that I’m at a friend’s house, and, quickly slipping on my shoes, head outside. Thankfully for me, Mika’s house is only a few blocks from mine.

It’s surprisingly cold outside this afternoon. The sky was cloudy and dark, the only sources of illumination being from the porch lights of the neighbor’s or the occasional flash of headlights from a car passing by. I shove my hands into my pockets and quicken my pace, slightly worried that it’ll start raining again. I suddenly get a feeling that I’m being followed. I cautiously glance behind me, letting out a small sigh of relief when I see there’s no one behind me. 

“Chill out, Nico. You’re just being paranoid. Everything’s fine.” I try to reassure myself. But no matter how many times I repeat it to myself, I can’t shake the feeling that someone’s watching me. As I’m turning the corner of the sidewalk, I feel something painfully strike my arm. “What the fuck?” I say to myself, turning in the direction the object came from.

I spot three figures quickly making their way across the street towards me. My heart stops when I see their leader: Ethan. Even in the dim light, I can make out the creepy smirk and death glare on his face. I scream at myself internally to start running. Mika’s house wasn’t far, just a few more turns and I’ll be safe. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t move my legs. It’s like I was glued to the sidewalk.

“Nico.” Ethan growled out, an angry tone that made my blood run cold. The two other guys, whose names I didn’t know, stood back, leering at me as Ethan approached. My legs feel like they’re going to give in. Shit, why does this have to happen now?!

“You know, I don’t quite appreciate what your little friend did to my face.” Ethan motions to his nose, which is still bruised. Before I can respond, or even fully register what he said, I feel a blinding pain in my stomach that sends me onto the ground. One of the unknown guys had kicked me. It hurt like hell, and it took everything in me to not stand up and return the hit, though I knew it wouldn’t do much to any of them.

“You should’ve learned from Friday. Leave me alone, you dick.” I try my hardest to keep the shakiness of my voice hidden, not wanting to let the trio think that I’m scared of them. Okay, I’m a little terrified. Just a little.

Ethan starts laughing and crouches down besides me. “Don’t be getting cocky now. Your faggot fucked up my nose, so now we’re gonna fuck you up!” His fist roughly collides with the side of my head, causing my vision to blur and the tears building up in my eyes to escape.

‘Disgusting fucking faggot,’ ‘Kick the shit out of him,’ ‘He’s not here to save you now,’ ‘Rot in Hell.’ Those were just some of the insults shouted at me as I was pinned to the ground, feeling blow to blow against every inch of my body before I black out.

~

I don’t know how long I was out for. I wake up with a start, cringing at the excruciating pain I feel. “Shit, where am I?” I wonder. Though my vision is blurred, I can make out enough detail to figure out that I’m in a hospital room.

“Oh, thank God.” I hear my dad’s voice next to me. My vision was still blurred and I can only make out his outline. I try to pull myself into a sitting position, my entire body feeling like I got hit by a truck.

“Dad… what… how did I get here?” I croak out, my throat sore. When I finally manage to regain my vision, I notice the white bandages wrapped around my arms and hands, small blood stains dotted across them. Oh god, how bad was the rest of the damage?

“Don’t worry about that. What the hell happened to you?”

“I… a fight… Ethan, two other guys.” I told him shortly, trying to remember all of the details. I sigh loudly and run one hand through my hair. “Can we talk about it later? I can’t remember everything.”

Dad only nods and buries his face into his hands. It was obvious that he was really freaking out about this, and I hate to see him like this. A nurse enters the room and gives me a sympathetic smile.

“Nico, how are you feeling?” She inquires, examining the bandages on my arms.

“I’ve been better. How bad is it?”

“Well, you’ve suffered a black eye, several large bruises, scrapes on your hands and legs, you had a bloody nose earlier, but I cleaned that up for you, and you have a few grazes on your knees and elbows.” She bites her lip and fidgets with her clipboard. I almost want to scoff at that statement. It honestly surprises me that Ethan didn’t straight up try to kill me. Either way, that stupid son of a bitch is going to pay for this.

“How long will it be before everything heals?” Dad asks. The nurse gives him a small smile. “The wounds should be gone within a week, though there may be some scarring. Since the damage isn’t severe, you’re free to take him home tonight.”

“Right. Let’s get out of here, kiddo. Are you alright to walk?” Dad says to me as the nurse exits the room. I nod and carefully climb out of the bed. I tense up at the pain as my feet press to the floor, but somehow manage to stand up without collapsing. “Okay, just take it easy.” Dad instructs.

It didn't take as long as I thought it would for us to reach the car. I quickly climb into the passenger seat, my legs tired from walking. Dad starts the car and begins to pull out of the parking lot. I glance at the clock on the radio: 8:10. I’ve been knocked for almost three hours. The ride home was almost unnaturally silent. 

We pull into the driveway wordlessly. Dad shuts off the car and sighs, turning towards me. “I know they said it’s nothing bad, but I’m going to keep you home from school for a few days, just to be safe.” I nod and exit the car. I have my fingers crossed that he wouldn’t ask any questions about what happened, not right now at least. I can tell him tomorrow, because I just want to get home and go to sleep.

“What’s gonna happen to Ethan and the other guys?” I question, my voice still hoarse. I really hope Dad can somehow convince the principal to expel them. As long as Ethan is still at school, I won’t feel safe there.

“I’ll get in touch with someone, let them know what happened. For now, just go get some sleep. We can talk about this more in the morning.” He says, scratching his head. I nod silently, and head up to my room.

Crawling into my bed, I stare up at the ceiling. Well, today certainly took a turn. I can’t even begin to imagine what sort of gossip is going to be going around the school when people find out about this.


	6. The Note

I’m definitely not looking forward to going back to school today. Is it because I don’t want to hear what people are going to say about the incident? Or is it just because I got three days to do absolutely nothing and I’m not mentally prepared for all the schoolwork that I missed? Maybe it’s a little bit of both. But here I am, walking to school on this cloudy Friday morning. Everything had healed well, aside from my black eye and a few scars remaining. I have a meeting with the principal during Lunch so we can figure out what to do with Ethan and his buddies, and after that, hopefully the rest of the day will go by smoothly.

I pull my hood over my head and lower my gaze as I enter the school, trying to not be noticed by too many people. Clearly, this didn’t work, as I can hear the other students’ whispering throughout the almost silent hallway as I make my way to my locker. A small envelope falls out onto the floor when I open it. 

“Hmm… That’s weird.” I think to myself, cautiously picking up the envelope. This could be some kind of cheesy “Get well soon” card, or a death threat. I wouldn’t be surprised by either one honestly. I can’t see any name on the envelope, which only increases my suspicion. I slowly tear it open, and pull out a note. The handwriting is messy, like whoever wrote it was in a hurry. I shut my locker and start walking, my eyes still glued to the note.

‘Ethan got what was coming for him. This was a one-time thing, don’t expect it again. You don’t know me, and I don’t know you. Better if we keep it that way.’

Okay, that’s fucking weird. What is this, some kind of threat for me to keep quiet? There’s no signature or even initials written. I fold up the note and shove it into my pocket. I’ll figure this out later.

~

“Huh, look at that. Ethan didn’t kill him.” Someone mutters, everyone in the classroom staring at me. I almost want to give some kind of snarky reply in return, but I decide against it. It’s way too early for me to hold any sort of conversation. I take my seat.

Mika turns around in her seat, concern filling her eyes. “So, how bad was it?” She asks softly.

“Could’ve been worse. At least I’m not dead.” I keep my voice low. I don’t need everyone else listening in on our conversation. I bite my lip, debating if I should tell her about the note. I trust her, but what if the person who wrote the note somehow finds out that I stitched, and something...happens? Thankfully, the teacher enters the classroom, gaining everyone’s attention.

~

Before I knew it, the bell had rung, signaling the start of the Lunch period. I weave my way through the crowds of students towards the principal’s office, ignoring the curious stares and whispers sent in my direction. It never fails me to surprise me how quickly drama spreads around this school.

“Nico, hi. It’s good to see you back.” The principal greets me and gestures for me to sit down when I enter the office. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine. I’m still breathing, so there’s that.” I say, hoping this won’t take very long. I just want to hear that Ethan and the other two guys will get kicked out, and I’ll never have to see him again. “So, about Ethan…”

“Right. I’ve informed Ethan’s parents about the severity of this incident, and we’ve agreed that it’s best if Ethan is removed from the school. I’m still working on dealing with the other two, but they haven’t been in school since Monday and no one has been able to contact them. I truly am sorry that you had to go through such a horrific experience. But I promise you, those boys will not be troubling you anymore.”

I feel a huge weight leave my shoulders when he finishes. Yes, those are the words I’ve been waiting to hear since eighth grade. I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding in. “Thank you.” Was all I could get out. I can’t even begin to describe the happiness I’m feeling right now, it’s something I haven’t felt in years.

“Now, if you have any problems throughout the rest of the day, please let me know. Otherwise, you’re free to go back to class.”

“Actually, there was something else…” I pull the note out of my pocket hesitantly, still internally debating if I should say anything about it or not. I guess saying something might be better, but since there’s no name on it, are they really going to be able to do anything? “I found this note in my locker before I went to first period. There’s no name or anything on it, but it just kinda gives me a bad vibe.” I say, handing him the note.

I can see the alarm growing in his eyes as he reads the note. “Well, that is certainly… strange. I’ll have people ask around, see if we can’t figure out who wrote it. I’ll let you know if we find anything out.” He says, giving me a small smile. “Have a good day.”

The bell rings loudly, ordering us to get to class. Time for god-forsaken Algebra. I can’t keep the grin from spreading across my face. After years of torment and bullying, Ethan Anderson has finally been kicked out of this school, and I’ll hopefully never have to see him again for the rest of my life. Oh, karma truly is a beautiful bitch. How can this day get any better?

“So, care to share what’s got you so happy?” A voice says from behind, causing me to jump slightly. I don’t need to turn around to know who’s talking to me: Tommy. Where the hell did he just suddenly pop in from? I look around anxiously, trying to find a way we can briefly slip into the courtyard to talk. Shit, the hallway is too crowded, and I’m still receiving weird stares from other people. For what reason? Does everyone really find it that shocking that Ethan didn’t straight up murder me? 

“It’s kind of a long story, but I’ll just get the point: Ethan got expelled.” I say. God, it feels really weird to say those words aloud. This whole thing just feels like some kind of weird dream.

“Ah, so something good did come out of all this bullshit after all.” Tommy says, a weird satisfied tone in his voice. As we’re nearing the classroom, his smile quickly disappears, replaced with a serious expression. “So, how are you doing with...all of this?”

“Honestly, it could’ve been a lot worse. I’m just shocked that the son of a bitch and his buddies didn’t kill me. It seems everyone else is just as surprised.”

“Yeah, but I can’t believe they even did it in the first place. I swear to God, if I see any of those sons of bitches again, I’ll fucking bury them alive.” He practically growls out. I look up at him, slightly shocked at his words.

"No, you will not." I told him firmly, cutting him rant short. "It's been dealt with, all three of them just lost their chances at having any sort of a successful life so I say they've been punished enough. Let’s just drop it now, because I don't want something similar to happen." Tommy doesn’t say anything else as we enter the classroom and take our seats. My phone vibrates in my pocket, informing me that I’ve gotten a text from someone.

“In all seriousness, if you ever wanna talk about shit you’ll always have my full attention.” 

I glance up at Tommy, who was turned around in his seat looking at me, probably waiting for my reaction to the message. He only flashes a smirk at me and winks slightly before turning to face the front, where the teacher has been reviewing the lesson. I chuckle softly and duck my head, trying to hide my blush from everyone.

Oh, Tommy. I swear you’re going to be the death of me.


	7. Secrets & Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of alcohol/drugs and suicide. Proceed with caution.
> 
> Danny: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ksEVzKLIxZohhI1eDHZFsL4yjrhBjNGz/view?usp=drivesdk

It’s been about a month since the incident with Ethan, and things have gotten a lot better. I’m not sure what happened to the other two guys, but no one’s seen them since that day. Everything went back to normal pretty quickly, and for the first time in a long time, I’m no longer having that sense of dread I’d feel the moment I stepped into the building. The only thing that still popped into my mind occasionally was the note. None of the faculty have been able to figure out the identity of whoever wrote it. It didn’t bother me that much though. If they couldn’t find who wrote it, then it’s probably best to just forget about it.

That isn’t the only thing that’s happened. Over that time period, me and Tommy have gotten a lot closer. I spend every minute I can either with him or texting and calling him. It’s basically become a part of our daily routine. We talk about anything and everything that comes to mind. It’s not just small talk, either. A lot of the time, our conversations get really deep and intimate. I discovered that Tommy used to struggle with self-harm back at his old school. I really wanted to tell him about how I still struggle with self-harm to this day, but decided to stay quiet about it. I have no idea what he’s been through, and I definitely don’t want to upset him. Sometimes, our conversations get a little flirty. We send hearts to each other, say ‘I love you’, and talk about the possibility of us dating. We both act like it’s just a joke, but sometimes it makes me wonder…

I bury my face in my hands, wishing that it was easy to figure everything out. I like him, I really do. I’ve managed to come to terms with the fact that I have a massive crush on him, but I’m still trying to accept that I actually want to be with him. I know it’s better if I don’t. After the whole thing that happened with Danny back in eighth grade, I made a promise to myself to avoid relationships as best as I could. It’s been pretty easy to do so...until now. I don’t want to hurt Tommy.

“Hello! Is there anybody in there?” Tommy waves his hand in front of my face, pulling me out of my thoughts. 

“Huh? I glance around the courtyard anxiously, probably looking really lost. He raises an eyebrow at me, looking kind of pissed off, but amused at the same time. “What could possibly be going on in that tiny brain of yours?”

“Oh, I just get lost in the deepest depths of my mind sometimes.” I shrug off what I had said as if it was no big deal. Tommy rolls his eyes, clearly trying to fight the urge to laugh.

“Right. Well, like I was trying to say…” He puts as much emphasis as he can on his words, trying to make sure I’m paying attention to him.

“I don’t have to do anything after school, and it’s Friday, I was wondering if you wanted to… I don’t know, hang out at the park for a while?” He keeps his head pointed towards the ground, as if he was nervous about asking.

“Oh... S-sure.” I swing my backpack over my shoulder and join the small group of students lined up at the courtyard entrance, Tommy following closely behind. I get a weird feeling of anxiety and excitement as I stare up at the clock, counting the seconds before we’re let out. Why does he seem nervous about asking me to hang out at the park? Is he planning something? When the bell finally rings after what seemed like an eternity of waiting, we start walking towards the park.

It doesn’t take too long for us to get there. Even better, we were the only ones at the park. I find a small patch of grass close to the playground and set my backpack down, taking a seat next to Tommy. The sun shines down brightly on us. Tommy turns his head towards me, smiling. He’s laying down, one arm resting behind his head.

“It’s so nice out today.” He whispers, running a hand through his hair.

“Yeah.” I lay back, focusing my gaze on the slightly cloudy sky. Absentmindedly, I find my hand making its way into Tommy’s. I can feel my face heating up as our fingers interlock. His hand is warm and soft, and fits into mine perfectly. My mind starts wandering back to the day of the “incident” when he said he likes me. Neither of us have brought it up since, but right now, I really am curious if he actually meant it or not.

“Tommy, can I ask you something?”

He lets out a small hum, letting me know that he’s listening, and moves so that he’s laying on his side facing me. I bite my lip, trying to think of the right words to say.

“A couple weeks ago, when you told me that you like me, I…” I trail off. Why did this feel so weird to ask? I have a small feeling that I already know what his answer is going to be, but… this feels strange. I keep my gaze pointed up towards the sky, trying to avoid meeting Tommy’s curious stare. “Did you mean it?”

He lets out a small chuckle, then sits up, still holding my hand. “Yeah. I did. And you know, all the conversations we’ve had the past couple weeks made me realize that I...shit, nevermind.” He quickly turns away, his face turning red.

“Hey, wait. You can tell me.” I sit up and give his hand a small squeeze.

“Well… I just… I really like you, Nico. And I was gonna tell you sooner, but I--“ 

I do the one thing I’ve been dreaming of doing for a while. Without fully thinking before acting, I lean in and press my lips against his, cutting him off. After a few seconds, Tommy pulls back, both of us blushing like crazy.

“l love you.” He says softly, cupping the side of my face with his free hand. I swear I felt my heart stop momentarily when those words come out of his mouth, a variety of different emotions coursing through me. I can’t even remember the last time I heard that phrase. Tommy leans back in, wrapping his arms around my waist. I wrap mine around his neck, pulling our bodies closer together. Oh god, this is really happening...The thing I’ve been craving so much. I close my eyes, my heart pounding in my chest, as we lock lips once again. Tommy gently bites my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I open my mouth, letting his tongue slide in. He runs his hands down my waist, his touch sending goosebumps crawling across my skin. I tilt my head more to the right, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Entangling my fingers into his hair, I feel a sudden wave of guilt building up inside of me. Why does this feel wrong? Am I betraying Danny? No. I want this. I’ve wanted this for so long. I want Tommy. He draws back, a small string of saliva hanging between our mouths. We're both breathing heavily, our lips swollen and faces bright red after all that.

“Oh god, I...I…” I try to catch my breath and form some kind of coherent sentence, still trying to fully process what I had just done. Between that, and all the things I’m feeling, good and bad, I can’t think correctly. Tommy smirks, as if he was taking pleasure from watching me in my current flustered state.

“S-sorry. I, uh, shouldn’t have done that.” I bury my face into my palms, the feeling of guilt becoming stronger now. What am I even apologizing for? Why do I feel so guilty? I’m not betraying anyone. The whole thing is in the past, right? 

“You don’t need to apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I...I liked that. A lot.” Tommy gently grabs my hands and pulls them away from my face, forcing me to look back at him. “And I did mean it. I honestly do really like you.”

I open my mouth, wanting to tell him that I feel the same way. I want to tell him how I liked him since we first met. Instead, I quickly shut my mouth, a single tear finding its way down my face.

"Tommy, I-I really like you too...but I can't." Another tear comes, followed by more. Tommy’s expression saddens, a pained look growing in his eyes. “Trust me, you really don't want to be with me. It’ll end up like last time, I-I’m just going to end up doing to you what I did to Danny."

I distance myself from Tommy, wishing that things could be different. Why am I distancing him like this? What if he doesn't end up like Danny? What if I actually end up being a good boyfriend this time?

"Nico, wait, don't leave!" Tommy quickly grabs my hand before I can fully stand up and leave.

"Don't leave me, please...this has been happening to me my entire life. I find someone I love, and then they always end up leaving me. I’ve lost friends, exes, family members, and... now I’m just alone. I don't want to lose someone again. I’ve failed too many people. And I don't want to go through that again." Tommy looks down at the grass beneath him, the poor guy on the verge of tears. Shit, he doesn't deserve this.

I take a seat next to him and take a deep breath.

“What I’m about to tell you is something that I’ve never told a single person before. It’s a secret that’s been haunting me for years. Just please promise me that you won’t say a word about this to anyone.”

Tommy nods, clearly interested in whatever I’m about to tell him. There’s a possibility that he’ll hate him and never want anything to do with me for the rest of our lives. But it’s best if I’m honest with him instead of making up some bullshit lie. I let out a shaky breath and continue.

"Near the end of sixth grade, I met this guy named Danny. I was basically an outcast in middle school, and something about him just drew me to him. We had a lot of the same interests, and quickly became best friends. We did everything together. We were basically inseparable. Things were great up until the summer before we started eighth grade, when he started to...change. Back in seventh grade, I came out to my family as gay, and soon after Danny also came out as gay. I’ve had feelings with him since I first met him, so I planned on confessing my feelings towards my best friend which I kept a secret from him for a long time. Anyways, back to eighth grade. Danny became friends with some really sketchy people that raised a lot of red flags for me. Despite that, I still loved him, and I confessed my feelings. Turns out, he returned them, and we were a happy couple. Everything was perfect. But unfortunately, good things don't last forever. Danny became involved with alcohol, and his grades started suffering. I had no idea that all of this was going on. I never asked about it, and he never told me. Also around this time, as I told you before, I got outed to the entire school and everyone found out that we were a couple, despite our efforts to keep it private. I guess the whole thing became too much for Danny to handle, because he broke up with me in May of that year, and boy was I devastated. Not only did he throw away our relationship, but our friendship fell apart as well. He was hanging out with really bad people, and started doing drugs. I was angry, upset, confused, and heartbroken. Rumors had begun to spread around the school that Danny had overdosed on something. I was so upset by everything that I thought revenge was the answer. I helped spread the rumors, not knowing if there was any truth to them or not. People started targeting Danny, and for a while, I felt like I had won. I thought that karma had taken care of him. However, it did something I never imagined would happen. Danny came up to me on the last day of school before dismissal, and stood there for a whole ten solid seconds, just staring at me. His eyes were full of something that, at the time, I was oblivious to: pain, sadness and loneliness. I was oblivious because I was...selfish. I only cared about my broken heart and getting payback, when I genuinely had no idea that Danny was suffering way worse than I was.

He said, 'l'm sorry' and then ran off, before I had a chance to say anything. There was something about his facial expression that stood out to me though. An expression that will probably haunt me until the day I die. The next day, the first day of summer break, I got a call from Danny’s parents that made my heart stop: He committed suicide the night before. 

And it's all my fault. Maybe, if I kept my mouth shut, if I hadn’t been so fucking selfish, if I went out of my way to help him, he probably would still be here..." I didn’t realize I was crying until Tommy pulls me into his arms, holding and shushing me.

"Now you know what a shitty person I am." I mumble into his chest.

"Nico, look at me." He gently lifts up my chin, making direct eye-contact.

"You’re not a shitty person, okay? Do you know why Because you regret what you did. You feel remorse and sadness for the guy. You do care about others, because if you didn't, you probably wouldn't have cared that Danny died. Yes, it’s sad that he killed himself, but there was likely much more to his death than just the rumor. He was also doing alcohol, drugs, and had low grades, and who knows what else could’ve been going on. I doubt that a rumor alone could have made him do it. Nico, you're the most caring, compassionate, and amazing guy I’ve ever met, and I love you. Even if you did something in the past that wasn't even your fault, I’d be willing to risk it because I really want to be with you. Danny may have hurt you, but I would never even think about doing that to you in a million years. His death was not your fault. Understand?"

I nod, wiping away my tears.

“I’m sorry, Tommy. I just… I’m scared. I love you, and I’d hate to do something and have the whole thing repeat itself. I don’t want to hurt you.”

He pulls me into a hug, holding me as if he didn’t want to ever let go of me. “I trust you.” He whispers.

“So… does this mean we’re official?” I ask, smiling as we pull away from the hug.

“Only if you want us to be. Personally, I’d love to call you my boyfriend.”

I look down, fidgeting with the strands of grass. I want to, I’m positive that I do. But I’m still afraid that I might accidentally hurt him. “Well, they do say life is all about taking risks…” I think.

I take his hand in mine and help him up, realizing that I have to get back home.

“Listen, I should get going. My dad’s probably wondering where I’m at.”

“Okay. We can talk later.” He gently brushes a few strands of my hair away from my face and gives a quick kiss on my forehead.

“Everything’s going to work out okay. I promise. I love you.” He says as he begins to walk towards the front of the park.

“Love you too.”

I check my phone, seeing that I have a missed call from my dad. Oh well, I’ll only be home a few minutes later than usual, it’s not that big of a deal. If it meant that I get to spend time with my new boyfriend, I think it’s worth it. I start walking home, a permanent smile on my face. I haven’t felt this sort of happiness in years.


	8. Dad’s Girlfriend?

Dad’s car is in the driveway when I get home. Weird, normally he doesn’t get home from work until it’s dark out. “Whatever, he’s home early. No big deal.” I think, entering the house. I hear voices coming from the living room, Dad’s voice mixed in with an unfamiliar, feminine voice. I slowly make my way to the living room, trying to decipher what they’re saying. Dad doesn’t usually have people over, aside from the occasional family members visiting. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time we had guests.

“How do you think he’ll take it?” The unfamiliar voice says. I lean slightly against the wall, right outside the living room, eavesdropping in on their conversation.

“It’s hard to say for sure. He’s still not over what happened to his mother, and he’s always been nervous around new people.” Okay, this just keeps getting weirder. I’ve never heard Dad sound so nervous before.

“New people? What happened to Mom?” I feel my heart drop when I finally put everything together. I know exactly what he’s talking about, and I knew this day was coming. But so soon? I knock lightly on the wall to let them know I was here. Dad glances up in my direction, looking slightly startled, but relaxes when he sees me standing at the entrance. He has a nervous smile on his face, an expression I haven’t seen on him in years. Sitting across him was a woman with long, wavy brown hair and dark brown eyes behind black framed glasses, who also gave me a nervous smile.

“Nico, hey. Um… I guess we should talk.” Dad motions for me to sit down. I get a nervous feeling as I set my backpack down and take a seat on the couch. I know what he’s about to tell me, and I’m not prepared for it at all. I nod my head slightly, urging him to continue.

“Nico, this is my girlfriend, Audrey.”

Bingo, that was exactly what I suspected he was going to say. I can’t even describe all the emotions that ran through my body at those words.

“I know I should’ve told you about this sooner, and I’m sorry that I hid it. But… well, I figured it would be better if I told you now rather than you finding out about it later.” Dad lets out a nervous laugh. Find out later? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! I let out a sigh, trying to control my thoughts. How could he not tell me? And how long has this been going on?

“Right.” Was all I could manage to say. I fight back all the weird anger I was feeling, and try to reassure myself. “Chill out. You knew this was gonna happen eventually. Besides, isn’t it time that you move on?” I tell myself. Move on… That phrase always gave me a bad feeling.

“I’m sorry. Something for work came up, I should probably get going.” Audrey piped up after a few moments of silence between the three of us. She was staring down at her phone at what I assume was either the time or some message.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll talk to you later.” Dad says, standing up from his chair to escort her to the door. Audrey gives me a smile as she stands up. “It was nice to meet you, Nico.”

“Yeah, you too.”

And just like that, they were gone. I relax and lean back into the couch. Okay, that could have gone a lot worse. Maybe it could’ve gone a little better, too. 

He returns a few moments later, and returns to his seat. I raise one eyebrow at him, waiting for him to say whatever he’s going to say. “I know you have questions, so just ask away.”

“How long has this been going on?”

“Since June.” I can tell that he’s really nervous to share this. For what? He knows that I’m still dealing with what happened to Mom, but did he expect me to just completely freak out on him? “How do you feel about this? And please be honest.” He questions calmly. If I’m being honest? I had no idea how I felt. 

“I… think I’m gonna need some time to process all of this. But if you two are happy, then… good for you.” I say. I can’t tell if that last part was me being genuine, or if I was just lying so he wouldn’t get upset. He nodded silently and didn’t say anything else.

After a moment of awkward silence, Dad spoke up. “Good. I, uh, may have suggested that the three of us could maybe go for dinner tomorrow night.” Why am I not surprised? God, he’s really trying to get me to like this girl, isn’t he? I fight back the urge to roll my eyes at this statement.

“I know you’re not happy about this, but I wanted you to come with us so you two could maybe talk and get to know each other better. I really like this girl, and I need you to just try and be nice to her.” He pleads. I feel a little guilty at that point. Am I just being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn? Plus, I have to admit, I was actually sort of intrigued by the idea of my dad being in a relationship again.

“Fine. I’ll go with you guys.” I stand up and stretch slightly, hoping that this conversation can finally be over. “And I’ll be nice. I promise.” I say over my shoulder as I head back upstairs.

I sit down on the bed and bury my face in my hands, still trying to process everything. Dad’s apparently had a relationship going on for the past couple months, and I’m only just now finding out about it. All of this was dropped on me way too fast. And now he wants me to go to dinner with them and get to know her? I have no idea how to describe everything I’m feeling right now.

~

“Well, this is… uncomfortable.” I think, keeping my gaze on the glass of soda in front of me. Even though I secretly didn’t want to go to dinner with Dad and Audrey, I went anyway. We had gone to some local diner for food, it’s been almost ten minutes and there’s been no conversation between the three of us aside from brief greetings. The silence, only broken by the sound of other customers, was almost unbearable.

“You know, when I suggested we go out to eat, I wasn’t picturing it being this quiet.” Dad states, prompting Audrey to let out a soft laugh. I smile, but make no attempt to laugh with them. He keeps shifting his gaze between me and Audrey, as if he’s trying to telepathically tell me to start some kind of conversation.

"This is weird, Dad. If you have something to say, just say it." I call him out. He only sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. Audrey glances back and forth between us, the confusion evident in her eyes. I can tell that she’s also uncomfortable with how awkward things were.

Dad stands up suddenly. “I’m… going to step outside for a bit. I won’t be long.” He says, heading towards the entrance. As he steps out, I catch a brief glimpse of him pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his pocket. “Come on, Dad, you said you were gonna quit.” I think, shaking my head slightly. I knew he was trying, and that cigarettes weren’t exactly easy to quit, but the thought, and the smell, make me feel sick.

“This… just keeps getting more awkward, doesn’t it?” Audrey pipes up, trying to start some kind of conversation with me. I only give her a nod. I suddenly feel kind of guilty for not saying a single word to her. Dad seemed really excited for us to meet, and this whole night hasn’t been going the way I imagined it would. “It won’t hurt to say a few words. Who knows? We might have at least one thing in common.” I tell myself, taking a sip of my drink.

“Hey, uh… I’m sorry if yesterday, and this whole night, I seemed kinda… not too welcoming.” I say. Should I really be apologizing? I guess I just don’t really know what else I could say.

“Oh, you don’t have to apologize. I know that this must be really strange for you.” Audrey smiles softly before taking a sip of her water. “And just between you and me, James didn’t even mention he had a son until yesterday.”

“And I didn’t know Dad was seeing someone until yesterday.” I let out a small laugh, Audrey joining soon after, her words filling me with a weird sense of… relief? I can’t really describe it. Okay, maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all.

“Would you mind if I ask you some questions?” She asks. I raise one eyebrow at her, curious to see how this would go. "Your dad kept stressing about how he wants us to get along, so I'd like to get to know you a little better. If I ask anything too personal, I won’t force you to answer." She was speaking quickly, probably trying not to offend me.

“Sure. Ask away.” I told her simply.

“What are you into? Like music, hobbies, TV shows, that sort of thing.” She asked a typical first question.

“I don’t know, I’m into a lot of stuff, I guess. I draw a lot and I play video games. I like anime, horror and sci-fi shows and movies, Criminal Minds, The X-Files, Destination Truth, stuff like that. I mostly listen to rock and metal, but I’d say I’m open-minded when it comes to music.” I inform quickly, as if everything was all recited.

“Okay. Any particular bands?” She asks curiously. I like that she wasn’t judging any of my interests. That was definitely a good sign.

“Recently, I’ve been really into Foo Fighters, Green Day, Linkin Park, Nirvana, Korn, Godsmack, Breaking Benjamin, Shinedown, Falling in Reverse, A Day to Remember… That’s all I can think of at the moment.”

Just then, Dad returns to the table. I fight back the urge to cringe at the smell of the cigarette smoke clinging to him. “Sorry, I didn’t realize how long I was out there.” He says, coughing slightly. He crosses his fingers together and places his joined hands on the table.”So, how are we getting on?”

“It’s going pretty well, actually.” I say, smiling to reassure him. The waiter arrived to deliver our food at that moment. Thank god, I’m starving.

“Well, I gotta say, I’m surprised. You’re so quiet, Hell, sometimes I even forget you’re in the house” Dad says jokingly. I only roll my eyes at his comment and smile.

“Dad, I’m not that quiet. I just need to be around the right people, you should know that by now.” I say. I’ll admit, this ended going better than I imagined it would. The more I spoke to Audrey, the more I felt like I could trust her. She seems nice enough, and if Dad likes her, then how hard can it really be for us to have some kind of bond?


	9. Ditch Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of child abuse, domestic violence, and self-harm. Proceed with caution.

It’s been a little over a week since I met Audrey, and I have to say, I kind of feel like a dick for not wanting to meet her at first. The more we talked, the more I’ve been able to piece together why Dad seems to be so head over heels for her. She was kind, wasn’t judgemental when I told her all the stuff I was into, and had an air of honesty about her. It felt like I could talk to her about almost anything and it wouldn’t faze her. It was oddly comforting.

“You listening to me?” Tommy’s voice chimes up, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m listening.” I turn my attention back towards him. He’s sitting criss-cross on the grass in front of me, clasping his hands together.

“Well, like I was trying to say…” He narrows his eyes at me, making sure he has my attention.

“I was wondering if...you wanted to go out. On a date, I mean.”

My heart skips a beat at the idea of us finally going on a date. “Absolutely! Where would you want to go?”

Tommy lets out a sigh of relief, as if he was expecting me to say no. “Well, I didn’t really think about that part yet, but maybe we could go see a movie tomorrow night? I’d do it tonight, but I’ve got stuff going on.”

“Yeah, sounds perfect. I can just tell my dad that I’m going to a friend’s to work on a project.” I cut him off before he can start going on a nervous rant.

The bell rings, dismissing us from school. “Great, we can plan this more later. Love you.” He gives me a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye. Finally, me and my boyfriend are going on our first date. I start heading home, eagerly awaiting tomorrow night.

~

Tommy is standing at the school gates when I arrive, eyes pointed down to the sidewalk.

“Hey.” I greet him cheerfully. For some reason, I woke up in a surprisingly good mood today.

“Nico…” My smile falls when I hear how upset Tommy sounds.

“I have detention after school today. I completely forgot about it. Sorry, but that movie’s gotta wait.”

Damn. I was really looking forward to tonight. Oh well, I can wait a little bit longer, although I’d love to know why he has detention.

“The other day, I saw this kid getting harassed and I stood up for them. No big deal.” He explains like he just read my mind.

“Well, at least he had a good reason for it.” I think. That also explains the black eye he had. We remain silent for a while, until Tommy stops walking suddenly.

“You still want to go on that date, right?” He grins, a devious look growing in his eyes. Whenever he gives me that look, I know he’s got some kind of idea forming in his head.

“Obviously. Why?” I can’t help the hint of suspicion that comes out with those words while I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s do it now.” He beams, holding out one hand.

“Huh? Now?!” I stare at him, my eyes wide with pure disbelief.

“Yes! If we can’t go out tonight, then let’s ditch school for the day!” 

I never had the courage to even try to skip one class, but skip the entire day? I bite my lip, debating internally if I should do it or not. I didn’t have anything important due today, and I’m positive there were no tests. Will my teachers notice that I’m not there and call home to tell my dad that I wasn’t in classes today? In the end, what could I have to lose?

“You ready?”

“Let’s go.” We make a dash for the front gates, not caring if people are staring at us. We keep running until we reach the corner of the street. Out of the corner of my eye, I see two of the school officers approach the entrance. Oh, shit! Did they see us?

“Tommy!” I hiss through my teeth, motioning towards the guards. He spots them, and pulls me behind him so we’re hiding behind one of the brick fences surrounding the school. After a few minutes of tense silence, they finally disappear back into the school, a metallic clicking alerting me that they locked the gate. We’re now officially locked out of the school.

“Yes!” Tommy pulls me into a hug, almost knocking me onto the sidewalk.

“Hey! Tommy!” I try to sound annoyed, but I can’t help but to start laughing with him. We pull away, making sure the coast is clear.

“So, where to now?” I ask, curious to see what plan he formulated for the day.

“I don’t know. I, uh… didn’t really think this through. I wasn’t really expecting you to agree to this.” He looks around nervously. I shake my head and let out a small laugh. I probably should’ve seen this coming. Honestly, I wasn’t even expecting me to agree to this.

“You know what? Forget about plans. What if we just go into town and see where the day takes us?” I offer. He grins and nods, taking my hand as we start walking up the street.

“You know, now that I think about it, I could kinda use some food right now. It probably would be nice if I ate breakfast for once.” Tommy pipes up after a while, snickering at his self-deprecating joke.

“Well, there’s a coffee place not from here that’s really good if you wanna go.” I pull out my phone, trying to search up the exact location of the place. I find it rather quickly, happy to see that it’s only a few minutes away.

“Sure, lead the way.”

We walk together, our hands still tightly connected, in a comfortable silence. I try to block the sunlight from my eyes with my free hand, glancing up at the clear sky even though it’s the middle of October.

We venture into the warm, brightly lit building. I’m a little shocked at how many people are here this early in the morning. I guess seven thirty in the morning is the ideal time to get some coffee.

We approach the counter, relieved by the fact that no one is currently standing in the line. We’re greeted by the barista, a girl with short platinum-blonde hair and heavy black eyeliner. She gives us a smile when we walk up, though I can see it in her eyes that she doesn’t want to be here. I don’t blame her.

“Hmm, shouldn’t you two be in school?” She asks with a suspicious look.

“We’re taking the day for ourselves. Who needs school?” Tommy replies with a small chuckle.

“Right. I get it, we all need a break occasionally. So, what can I get you boys?”

I decide on my usual caramel frappuccino. It doesn’t matter what time of the year it is, I will always get one. I’ve never been a fan of coffee, so caramel frappes are like a drug to me. Tommy gets some kind of latte, and I get us some breakfast sandwiches as well. I pull a twenty from my wallet, figuring that would cover everything.

“Nico, you don’t have to pay--“ I cut him off with a quick kiss.

“My treat. I got this.”

The barista’s smile widens. “Here you go.” She hands us the sandwiches, instructing us to wait at the side for our drinks after she gets our names. Once our drinks are done, we take a seat near the windows, sitting directly across from each other. I glance outside briefly, admiring how peaceful everything looks at this time.

“This is really nice. I can’t think of a better way to spend the morning.” Tommy says through a mouthful of food.

“Me too. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m glad we decided to skip.” I laugh silently as I take a sip of my frappuccino. Mmm, I haven’t had one of these in a while…

Tommy and I take close to a half hour to finish our food, mostly because we spend a lot of the time talking and laughing. I can’t help but to feel so lively and carefree. This is a feeling that I don’t remember ever feeling before, and I never want it to disappear.

“So, where do you want to go now?” I get up to throw our garbage out.

“Can we stop at my house really quick?I found this neat little spot the other day while I was out exploring and I was thinking we could hang out there, but I need to grab something first, if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah, of course. Lead the way.” I say, taking his hand as we walk towards the door.

“Hey, you two have a good day!” The barista shouts, waving at us slightly.

“You too!” We shout back in unison. We exit the shop, our smiles plastered to our faces.

We walk together in silence until we reach Tommy’s house. He leads me around the back of the house, and starts opening what I’m assuming is the window to his room.

“Why not just use the door? No one’s here.” I ask, curiously watching as he hoists himself up into the room.

“The door’s locked and I don’t have a key. Plus, there’s an alarm on the door and I’d rather not deal with that. Come on. It’s gonna look weird if you’re just standing out there.” He gives me a hand to pull myself up. Thankfully, it’s not too high, and I climb into the window without hurting myself.

“So, you wanna tell me what this ‘little spot’ is and why you’re so excited about it?” I lean against the wall, watching as he starts digging around in his closet for something.

“Right, so not long after I moved here, I was out skating, just trying to see what there is to do around here, and I found this old abandoned warehouse. I’ve kinda claimed it as a hangout place.” Tommy finally emerges from the closet, holding two skateboards under his arm.

“A warehouse? That sounds pretty sketchy to me.” I say as he hands me one of the skateboards. I turn it over, admiring the small black, blue and green patterns scattered across the deck. It’s been a while since I went out skating. 

“Hey, it’s not that bad. Now come on, we’ve got a ride ahead of us.”

~

“Well, this isn’t quite what I was picturing” I think, examining the building. It was standing right at the edge of town. Surprisingly, the building didn’t look super old, and I couldn’t see any major damage to the building aside from a few broken windows and graffiti spray-painted in various spots. It starts to get colder out all of a sudden. I look up at the sky, which was now gray and cloudy, signaling that it was most likely about to rain.

“I’m pretty sure that’s our cue to get inside. Now.” Tommy says, pulling open the rusted door.

It’s not much warmer in the building, but at least we’ll stay dry. I pull my phone from my pocket and turn on the flashlight, so I don’t end up tripping over something and embarrassing myself. “Okay, where to now?”

“Just up the stairs there, be careful though. There’s a ton of old boards and nails on the floor.” Tommy says, immediately tripping on one of the boards as he finishes his sentence. He manages to catch himself and turns towards me. Even though the room is almost completely dark, I can tell he’s blushing. I bite back a laugh.

“Don’t start. If you fall, you’re on our own.” He gives me a gentle shove as we make our way upstairs. Everything seems way more enjoyable with him around.

We enter a small room at the top. There’s a ton of boxes stacked in the back of the room. Out of curiosity, I take a peek inside one. It’s full of old papers and what looks like computer parts. Huh, I wonder what this place used to be?

“So, what do you think?” Tommy pipes up, sitting down on the floor.

“This isn’t too bad. It still feels sketchy, though.” I take a seat next to him, shivering. It was already cold outside, and it seems to colder in this room compared to downstairs.

“You okay?” Tommy asks, taking notice of my current state.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It’s just kinda cold, and I stupidly forgot to bring a sweatshirt.” I reply, letting out a dry laugh. I watch as he slips off his hoodie and begins to hand it to me.

“Here. You can borrow mine.”

“What about you? You’re going to freeze.” I say softly.

“Oh, who cares? I’m not scared of a little cold.” He practically throws it into my arms. I pull it on, instantly feeling better in its warmth.

“Thanks.” I mumble as I move closer to him and lay my head on his shoulder. It’s weird. How can it be that I’ve only known Tommy for a little over a month, and I already feel so strongly for him?

“Hey, Tommy?” I ask, pulling back a little. He lets out a small hum to let me know that I’m listening.

“I know we’ve only been dating for, not even three weeks, but I really like you. I know that probably sounds cheesy as hell, but I don’t really know how else to explain it.” I say softly, toying with the strings of the hoodie..

“Honestly, I feel the same way. Yeah, I’ve dated people before, and I liked them… but I wouldn’t say I loved them. When they left, it didn’t hurt as much as it probably should have… but I love you.”

“I love you too.” I close my eyes.

“And don’t worry about… what happened. I know it must’ve been horrible for you, but I want you to trust me when I say I wouldn’t ever dream of hurting you.” He brings one hand up to gently caress the side of my face

“I know you wouldn’t. But I’m scared.”

“And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Believe me, everything’s going to be okay. I’ll be with you the entire time.” He gives me a sincere smile, and pulls his hand away. As he does so, I catch notice of a huge nasty-looking scar covering almost half his arm. What the hell?

“What happened to your arm? The words slip out before I had time to think before I spoke out. Tommy follows my gaze to the scar, his confused look quickly becoming one full of panic.

“Oh… It’s n-nothing. I just…” He stutters out, turning away from me. After about a minute of silence, he turns back to me, still avoiding eye contact.

“It happened a few months ago. My mom… She was just randomly being a bitch to me, as always… I was trying to defend myself, and she just grabbed me and cut my arm.”

I can tell that he’s on the verge of tears.

“But it’s really not that big of a deal. She’s out of my life, and I don’t have to worry about that.”

I wrap my arms around Tommy, pulling him closer to me.

“It is a big deal, Tommy. I don’t know what happened, but you didn’t deserve to go through that.”

He breaks down sobbing into my shoulder. I close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears building up in my eyes. The sight of my boyfriend, the sweetest person in the world, crying just absolutely shattered my heart.

This goes on for a few minutes before he calms down. He looks up at me, shaking and struggling to slow his breathing. Using my sleeve, I gently wipe away his tears.

“S-sorry. You didn’t need to see that.” He sniffles.

“Hey, don’t be. You did nothing wrong.” I bring him back into my arms, running my fingers through his hair as he begins to relax.

“It’s just… I’m sick of remembering. I want to forget everything about her.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” I offer.

“Yeah... Can we go back to my house? I don’t wanna be here anymore.” I nod and stand up, pulling him up with me.

~

By the time we get back into Tommy’s room, he’s calmed down significantly. I take a seat on his bed, him sitting directly next to me.

“So, what do you wanna know first?”

I take a second to think. I wanted to know everything, but at the same time, I feel kind of shitty for even asking in the first place. I don’t know what he went through. “Start at the beginning, I guess.”

Tommy nods.

“For my whole life, it’s me and my mom. I don’t know who my dad is, or where he is now. He might be dead for all I know. When I was about nine, Mom married my step-dad, Chris. They hadn’t been dating long before they married, but Chris was a good guy, and I liked him. I’m not sure what happened, but they started fighting a lot. My mom always started it, she would scream and hit him. They eventually got divorced, but me and Chris kept in contact. Over time, the abuse Mom directed towards him became directed at me. She would beat me, leave bruises, call me a mistake and a fuck-up. I was too scared to tell anyone about it, so I kept quiet. I began cutting myself, thinking it would help stop the pain. And it did for a while. The abuse started worse when she found out that I’m bi. She threatened to send me to conversion therapy, called me slurs, and the beatings got so much worse. I’m not sure how, but someone from the school found out I was being abused, and called the police. My mom was arrested. I still had contact with Chris, who moved up here to New York some time ago and offered to let me move in with him. Everything’s fine now, but it’s so hard to just… forget everything.”

I stare at him, eyes wide with horror. I couldn’t believe everything he had just told me.

“My god, how could she do that to you? I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that…”

Tommy only shakes his head, giving me a small smile. “Yeah. But I’m trying to stay on the bright side. I’ll never have to see that bitch again. Plus, I’ve been doing a lot better since I got here.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. And, if there’s anything else you wanna talk about, I’ll be there to help you through it.” I smile at him, he immediately returns the smile.

“God, you’re too good to me.” He mumbles, leaning down and kissing my neck. I involuntarily let out a whimper and dig my fingers into his hair, the sensation sending tingles crawling across my skin.

“Tommy, you better stop now. You don’t wanna start something you can’t finish.” I growl at him as he starts roughly sucking on my collarbone, shamelessly sinking his teeth into the rapidly-bruising skin.

“What makes you think I can’t finish it?” He asks me seriously, glancing over at the small digital clock on his desk. I follow his gaze. 12:49, the red digital numbers read. Oh shit, how did this day go by so quickly?

“See, we’ve still got some time.” Tommy pipes up, gently grabbing my chin to force me to look at him.

“You’re such a bad boy. You really know how to make me fall for you.” I say. Tommy laughs and pushes me down onto the bed.

“Well then, it’s an honor to be your bad boy.”

~

About an hour passes by. We were making out, but neither of us were making attempts to go any further than that. We draw back from our kiss, both of us breathing heavily and smiling.

“That good enough for you?” Tommy asks. I can only nod, still out of breath.

“Good. We should probably get going soon.” He climbs off of me and stands up, picking up his discarded shirt from the floor. I can’t help but to stare, my blush worsening as I admire his body.

“Uh… right.” I stand up, pulling his hoodie back on. I was aware that he had given me several hickeys. I prayed that they weren’t super noticeable. I probably wouldn’t be able to live that down.

~

Somehow, we manage to get back into school to grab our backpacks without being caught by security, and right as the bell rings. 

“Thanks for today, Tommy. I had fun.” I say, hugging him.

“No need to thank me. I’d gladly do it again.”

We kiss quickly and start going our separate directions, before I turn back to him.

“Hey, do you want this back?” I call to him, pulling slightly on the borrowed hoodie. From down the hallway, he turns to me, smiling.

“I’ll get it back eventually, but you can have it for now. You look cute with it.”

As I make my way home, I replay the events of today in my mind. If every day I spend with Tommy makes me feel this happy, then I wouldn’t mind spending the rest of my life with him.


End file.
